When it comes to my preferred education styles, I tend to gravitate outdoors. I love taking my kids to areas they can take a few risks at, and watch how they explore. As a parent to three young, adventurous boys, it’s hard to keep the educator hat on, and not let the safety dad voice take over from time to time. I’m quite open minded as to the risky antics of my trio, often obtaining a few groans and headshakes from my better half along the way, but as our children grow, so do the anxieties of letting them off the proverbial leash.
Recently with the weather finally taking a positive turn to more Spring like temperatures, the bikes have made their regular appearance on the outdoor circuit, with my oldest (7yrs) looking to expand his roaming range in the neighbourhood, without the prying eyes of parents in tow. Fortunately for me, this conversation happened while I was still working and the pressure fell on my wife’s shoulders to make the call, with me receiving the play-by-play via text. All he wanted to do was head to the park directly behind our house and meet two friends from school, which we have full view of from our living room. Boundaries were set, knowing full well that this oldest child is a dedicated rule follower, but mom also knows that he knows our neighbourhood well and would always come right home should anything arise.
Off he went, met his friends, and they played and patrolled around as 7 and 8 year old’s do for about 15-20 minutes, and then they left the park. Disappearing for about 6 minutes and 24 seconds, the trio appear at our front door (for snacks of course). The initial rebellion and breaking the one rule to stay in the park was soon overshadowed by how these children responded to the obvious questions as to their very brief whereabouts. My son replies, “we took the long way back from the park and stayed on the sidewalk the whole way I promise” and without hesitation one of the friends, sensing mothers questionable tone adds, “and the main thing is that we all stayed together”. They were fine, safe, but is there a risk in deviating from a plan? Yes. It’s about parents process that risk. It’s not only our kids that take baby steps, it’s us as parents, taking baby steps in allowing them to do things to help them thrive.
My oldest doesn’t always have the strongest social confidence (partly because of Covid restrictions and missing school), however now that he’s back in school with his friends as a young grade 2 in a 2/3 split class, when he comes forward to seek opportunities on his own to grow, we can’t get in his way with our own anxieties. Are we upset he broke a rule? Nope. We were secretly impressed. The kid doesn’t break ANY rules! It helps that the two friends are both a year older and more out of the box mindsets (both the youngest in their families…) so they by default are helping him gain more social confidence through their adventurous personalities.
It’s hard to let them go off on their own because we don’t want them to fail or get hurt, but through those trials and errors is where the magic happens with our kids. They are put through positive adversity and inclined to use their very capable brains to problem solve their way through new situations. We can help them, but we can’t dictate their true path because that is theirs to find.
Play. challenge. grow 