My trio of boys (7, 4, 2.5 years old) are quite the little team, each possessing their own likeness and variance with a healthy mix of my wife and I. Although I’m quick to point out any potential flaw in them is always from mothers side of the gene pool,(she loves that) I will own the stubbornness (sorry dad).
Being in the early years and education field for over 10 years now, I have always viewed and observed kid order with a fatherly lens, but also as an educator. They continue to be my little case studies in action, and now that the troop is complete (contrary to what some may think we are VERY happy with our three boys, and won’t be trying for a girl…) it’s been almost 3 years with one stuck in the classic middle.
I’ve seen the various memes and reels about the stereotypical hierarchy of behaviours and temperaments of birth order (if you don’t already, follow the funniest middle child @tj_therrien, for spot on posts and reels!) but as the youngest child in my family of 3 older sisters, I was a little spoiled. The middle child usually gets over looked, and even though I said I’d “never be one of those parents”, we definitely fit that trend. By no means is my middle guy neglected from a children’s service perspective, he’s just so ‘go with the flow’ that we seldom ask his choice or opinion on things because we don’t get much push back. Our youngest child officially runs the show which shouldn’t surprise anyone with multiple kids, and the oldest tries to restore balance through structure and routine, falling quickly on ears that don’t care to listen.
A few weeks ago, middle spoke up and made his own call. He was finally sick of his younger bro watching ‘Blaze and the Monster Machines’ on repeat (there’s lots of counting and shapes and colors so it counts, right?) and said “I never get a turn to pick, you guys always get a turn now I want a turn”, and the room went silent for a hot minute. The initial toddler rebellion was boisterous and dramatic, oldest is already pretty worn down from the toddler and is just happy to see him not win so he was a quick fold, but middle stood his ground and silenced his critics. He sat there glowing in his win, watched his show peacefully for 4 and a half minutes, went to pee and never came back. Not sure if he really cared about the show at all, or just wanted to maintain his mischievous power control over his brothers? Either way it did point out how easy it is to put some things on cruise control in your house.
Middle children seem to show more independence and are shown to have better “street smarts” than their predecessors. The first born gets held and coddled, which usually breaks down by the next child and especially if you drop (no pun intended) number 3 soon after, the middle little quickly has to fend for themselves with mom and dad’s attention, shifting to the new King of the Castle.
It’s always a challenge to balance work and kids and giving each one an equal amount of face time, (your real face not the screen face), isn’t always easy. As educators, these are usually the ones who don’t need as much attention to thrive, but I’m here today, to stick up for the middle child! Give them a voice, you may be surprised at what they come up with.
p.s – Don’t feel too sorry my middle little, he usually flashes those dimples and gets away with anything..
Play. challenge. grow 